


So That Just Happened

by Void_Felinoid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cat Puns, Graphic depictions of Being Really Tired, Implied Sexual Content, Other, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:09:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Void_Felinoid/pseuds/Void_Felinoid
Summary: This just in: local tired nb wakes up one morning and decides to project their thoughts through crackshipping fictional characters as they wait for their partner-for-the-night to wake up.





	So That Just Happened

Davepeta finishes their morning stretches as they make their way to the kitchen, intent on finding something tasty that can be made by a half-awake catbird. Scrounging through the cupboards, they find a bowl of microwave noodles and slap it on the table with a damp pap sound. These may not be entirely fresh, but Davepeta is in the mood for noodles, and expired or not noodles they shall have.

Opening the container, they flip through the directions tab and open up the noodles and dried vegetables, putting them with a quarter cup of water into the bowl, leaving the (probably stale) teriyaki sauce packet by the cardboard wrapping that once held the bowl. Davepeta sets the dish inside the kitchen's small, low power microwave, and sets it to cook a little while longer than the directions say to. 

As the wait begins, Davepeta heads to the bedroom to grab their phone, and, taking it with them, back into the kitchen to pass the time by going through their friends' snap stories. Rose and Kanaya adopted another cat, Dave has a fancy new laptop, Jake and Dirk are in the middle of making... something. The microwave dings. Davepeta takes the small bowl of noodles out and stirs in the teriyaki sauce. They take it and two forks back to the bedroom.

“Pawnjour, John!” Sitting on their side of the bed, Davepeta waves the noodle bowl under John's face and purrs, “wake up, sleepy head!” John lets out a groan and refuses to open his eyes. “Meowre for me,” they tease, slurping up a bundle of noodles.

John opens his eyes and looks into Davepeta’s, “what time is it?”

“Oh, about 6,” Davepeta dangles their feet off the edge of the bed as they continue eating.

“You wake up at 6?” John asks as he slowly raises himself up and swipes the bowl from Davepeta’s paws, “I normally wake up, like, at least in the PMs,” he says before eating a forkful. After catching its taste, he spits it out and stares at it, “what the hell is in this? It tastes like…”

“Catnip,” Davepeta replies, “it helps me zone out in the meowrning, y’know, really blitz my clawkras and what have you.”

“Well I think my 'clawkras' are fine as they are, thank you,” John says as he hands the bowl back to Davepeta. Shaking his head slightly to regain consciousness, he looks at their half-naked body, sitting beside him, and his eyes widen as he remembers what happened last night.

“Davepeta,” he says, “did uh… did we… you know, do that?”

Davepeta returns an eyebrow wiggle to his query as they nibble on their noodles.

“Oh, uh, so does this mean like…”

“Yes?” Davepeta sets down the bowl and moves closer to John, wagging their tail.

“Am I like, you know, gay now?”

Davepeta sits on the question for a while before responding, “I dunno, do you feel gay?”

“I don’t know!” Join replies, “is what happened gay? Is it like, half gay? Like, y-you have a-“

“Imma cut that thought short for nya right quick John,” Davepeta interrupts, “we live in a post-genital society, you know? And, the way I see it, being pawttracted to me isn’t a gay, straight, bi, et cetera, thing. It just means you got two pairs of eyes and a working brain, hehe.”

“I guess you’re right,” John concedes, “but it still felt-“

“Did it feel bad?”

“Well, no, but-“

“Did it feel good?”

John sighs. “Yes, Davepeta, it felt amazing… I just feel like, I don’t know, I’ve definitely done things that were more heterosexual than what we just did; I mean, wait, are you um, offended? Like, should I not be, uh, comparing you to men and women like that?”

“John, you grew up the first 16 years of your life, more or less, only thinking in two genders, so no, I don’t blame you for still trying to figure all this out; I just think you shouldn’t put too much weight on whether you’re attracted to what binary gender you purrceive me most as, and you should just live in the here and now, my dude; you think I’m hot? That’s that, end of disclawssion, no need to perform mental gymnyastics to figure out why.”

“I’ll try,” John replies. He picks the bowl back up, “it tastes like a cat’s ass, but maybe this will get me to chill out , right?”

“At the furry least, Johnny, you can now say you know what a cat’s ass tastes like,” Davepeta says with a smug grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this as an incredibly belated birthday gift LOVE U JAYN HOPE U APPRECIATE


End file.
